Hypocrisy is a brutal motivator. It began when I saw a mother pick up her junior high schooler from school. The unnamed student plopped himself down in the front seat of the otherwise empty car, immediately put in his Ipod ear buds in, and began texting, staring at his phone as they drove away in apparent silence. The mother was his taxi, and he was her mute, distant passenger. That image was instantly burned into my mind, representing the potential (NOTE: not inherent nor absolute, just potential) evils of technology. The devices that allow us to be constantly connected, can tear us away from honestly connecting with the people and moments we are experiencing in the here and now. And worst of all, the rift was being created between parent and child. "I cannot let that happen in my family!"...I thought.
And then I began to see this...
(ok so it's a little staged, but you get the point, and Josiah really does love youtube!)
It begins. Ryan and I are teaching our children what to love (credit to Hannah for phrasing it that way, thanks Hannah!). My love for distraction creates a rift between me and God. My example teaches Josiah and Kaila learn to love distraction. Someday, my teenage children will love the distractions that create a rift between us. BAM.
Hypocrite.
When I pick up the phone every moment of the day, Josiah sees that. In that moment, I am telling him that the phone is more important than whatever is going on right then. Add up all the phone calls, texts, emails, etc. throughout the day, and I have taught him a lot about what is important to me. He reaches for my phone when it's on the table, "Mommy loves it, so do I." Does he even know to reach for my bible?
I began talking to my mom about this and she had a sobering point. In her line of work (she's a Marriage and Family Therapist) she sees a high volume of teenage boys addicted to gaming, girls addicted to texting and always talking with their friends, not to mention pornography and sexting (texting nudity and sexual talk).
Obviously I am not saying that letting your kid play on your iphone, watch youtube, play computer games etc, is going to lead to these things. We just did a few long car rides with the kids, and believe me...
As I stated in Part 1, there must be a balance.
What I am saying is that my status-quo isn't good enough here.
I need to Parent Deliberately *.
Ryan and I need to be pro-active in regard to how we use technology around our kids and in our family. I want to teach Josiah and Kaila to first love God, then family, people around us, nature, and so many other things, before I teach them to love technology and distraction.
* "Be alert and of sober mind, your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8
2 comments:
I couldn't agree with you more, although the sad reality is I don't think the addiction of technology is something we even have to teach. It is definitely the brain's first attraction and something we have to be ready to defend against, especially as the mother of boys. Here's to keeping each other accountable! ~Leslie
So true. We do need to parent deliberately and set good examples. Thank you for the reminder to set limitations. My almost 12 year old is increasingly into his iPod. There is just such a draw with these gadgets.
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