Mommy Brain and the Art of Triple Tasking

I have friends who blame things on "mommy brain." Well, to clarify, first it was "pregnancy brain" and then it was "mommy brain." For those of you who aren't in the parenting loop, that's when you seem to forget everything. You just plain forgot to call someone back, you have no memory whatsoever of a certain conversation, you go all day with your shirt on backwards...the list goes on.

I never noticed it myself. Not because I don't forget things, but because, as my mother would say, "it's a good thing that your head is screwed on otherwise it would just roll away!" In other words, I have always been a pretty forgetful person, that's just how I am...right?

Wrong.

It got worse, and I'll tell you why. It's because with the little ones, I am rarely able to finish a thought without being interrupted.

Let me illustrate.

Me: " Hmmm...I think I will open my Bible and then make sure to return that book....."

Josiah: " Hi!...Hi!..up!?...up!?" (break for Josiah time)

Me: " Let's see, where was I, where did I put that book..."

Kaila: "Aaaagh, aaagh....uuurgh-aaagh!" (Her newfound favorite pose of tummy time doesn't mesh well with a full stomach. Break for clean up and change in position.)

Me: "Ok, got it, I'll just set it on the table and get back to it later..."

Both Kids: " hi! hi! hi! ...arrmmmmmph, waaah, waah,...muah, muah!" (glance down to see Josiah simulaneously smothering-hugging and kissing Kaila)

Shortly following this attempt at one continuous line of thought, agitated screaming makes it apparent that it is time for breakfast and a nap for Kaila. At this point, the book is gone.

Enter the Art of Triple Tasking.

In this photo alone, I am making eggs, listening to a crying Kaila on the monitor, eyeing my unpoured cup of coffee, doing a few dishes, taking out the trash and feeding Josiah in the background. It takes me about 5 minutes to attend to all of these things.

Then there is the inevitable cost-benefit-analysis that takes place anytime I am actually getting something done. For example, as I clean up from Task A-breakfast, I have to ask myself, "is it worth it?" because previously-non-existent Task B and C are being created in that exact same moment.

My survival technique? Efficiency.

If I see something that needs to be done, and I have 2 minutes before I have to go do x,y and z, then that bathroom is going to get the most amazing 2 minute clean-up it's ever seen. If I'm walking back to Josiah's room to change a diaper, then my arms are going to have two babies, a pair of socks, last night's pajamas, and a misplaced blanket in them.

Some day it will pay off. I will be a more effecient, just normally forgetful, person. But for now, I am just glad to have all those tasks done quickly so I can get back to enjoying the important stuff. And who cares if I can't remember anything, like if I put deodorant on today? The ones who really love me will just tell me I stink, and love me all the more for it.

March 18, 2006

March 18, 2006

On March 18, 2006, Ryan and I were married. We both can't believe that we have been married for 6 years, together for 7 1/2. We have had so many adventures, been all over the world, are friends with, and have met so many interesting people, and now we are experiencing having kids and a home together. I feel so blessed to be with him, honestly, every year we are together I feel luckier and luckier to be given the gift of sharing my life with Ryan. He constantly grows in ways that increase my love, admiration, and respect for him year after year.

This year we had two nights in a hotel on the beach in Pismo. I booked the hotel with a wonderful sunny weekend in mind. Unfortunately, it rained. We had a rough start, looking at each other exclaiming "Failed!!" as each of our plans went down the drain.

Surfing.....FAILED!

Hiking....FAILED!

Cal Poly Botanical Gardens....FAILED (Sign says closed)!!....or was it!?

Things did turn around quite quickly. We had a great leisurely breakfast at our favorite restaurant in Shell Beach, then found another entrance to the Cal Poly Botanical Gardens that was indeed open. Strolling around together, we saw some awesome plants, got some landscaping ideas and sprinted around seeking shelter from the rain in between.

Ryan's inspiration for the back yard, rock tiers with herbs and drought tolerant plants.

Plants from all over the world!

Seeking shelter from a sudden downpour!

Some cool flower structures we couldn't help but admire.

Strolling around the nursery section.

From the botanical gardens, we went downtown. We hung out in Barnes and Nobles, looked at magazines and drank hot chocolate. Then we cruised the local art galleries and shops around town.

A girl's gotta glam it up on her anniversary to go....bowling!? Yep, that's right! We stopped by the hotel where I put on some make-up, dressed up and then went to the Pismo Beach Bowling Alley. We played pool and went bowling. Ryan beat me at every game, but he's just lucky. We quit playing before I could get my big turn-around in and beat him.

We finished the night off with a nice dinner in Avila, a more fitting venue for my snazzy attire, and then retired for the night.

The next morning, we had this view from our bed, complete with the rainbow. What a beautiful way to spend a stormy Anniversary Weekend!

Side Note

In case you were wondering about the kids, my mom and dad were here to babysit them all weekend. They generously offered to watch Kaila overnight, but since she still wakes up about one time a night, I didn't want to burden them with a 4am wakeup that they aren't used to. Kaila actually was a little sweetie and even slept till 6am one night. She was so easy to have with us at night. We just picked her up before we retired to the hotel room and put her to bed...in the closet! Check out her cool little private room!

Backyard Pics

Ryan has been hard at work in the backyard. Last weekend we finally got the concrete poured for the patio...it looks great! Good job Ryan! You are one talented man! ( He did all the prep work and hired a crew to finish the concrete...)

Thanks to Mom and Dad Hayes, and to Aunty Lyndal who have helped out watching the kids and spending time with us while Ryan has been working extra-hard and I have been on extra-kid duty! We love you guys!

So my recent lack of posts has not been as a result of my convictions, more as a result of our active lives. Ryan has been putting in a patio in the back yard and so I have been on extra baby duty. There is no lack of cuteness around the house though, here are a few snaps from our lives recently. I will include patio pics later.

Never a moment's rest. Kaila is often relegated to the shower with me so I can monitor her at the same time. This evening, she was squacking and complaining loudly, threatening to just lose it. I apologized to her and told her that I had to shower and get ready. I left the room for a second and it got quiet. I peeked back in and she had fallen asleep in this awkward squirm position.

This may not be appropriate for later, but for now, Ryan taught Josiah how to "cheers!"

They love their bottles...

I don't know why, but it is always so hard to capture those super-cute baby looks. Here are a few of my attempts that actually did quite well...

Ryan was working outside and Josiah was not happy about not being allowed to work alongside Daddy at the moment. He insisted, for some strange reason, that I put his cowboy boots on him, then continued to alternate between sobbing and...well...pausing between sobs.

I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him...a not-so-awesome-dude in cowboy boots. He took a great nap.

Addicted and Convicted: Part 2

Hypocrisy is a brutal motivator. It began when I saw a mother pick up her junior high schooler from school. The unnamed student plopped himself down in the front seat of the otherwise empty car, immediately put in his Ipod ear buds in, and began texting, staring at his phone as they drove away in apparent silence. The mother was his taxi, and he was her mute, distant passenger. That image was instantly burned into my mind, representing the potential (NOTE: not inherent nor absolute, just potential) evils of technology. The devices that allow us to be constantly connected, can tear us away from honestly connecting with the people and moments we are experiencing in the here and now. And worst of all, the rift was being created between parent and child. "I cannot let that happen in my family!"...I thought.

And then I began to see this...

(ok so it's a little staged, but you get the point, and Josiah really does love youtube!)

It begins. Ryan and I are teaching our children what to love (credit to Hannah for phrasing it that way, thanks Hannah!). My love for distraction creates a rift between me and God. My example teaches Josiah and Kaila learn to love distraction. Someday, my teenage children will love the distractions that create a rift between us. BAM.

Hypocrite.

When I pick up the phone every moment of the day, Josiah sees that. In that moment, I am telling him that the phone is more important than whatever is going on right then. Add up all the phone calls, texts, emails, etc. throughout the day, and I have taught him a lot about what is important to me. He reaches for my phone when it's on the table, "Mommy loves it, so do I." Does he even know to reach for my bible?

I began talking to my mom about this and she had a sobering point. In her line of work (she's a Marriage and Family Therapist) she sees a high volume of teenage boys addicted to gaming, girls addicted to texting and always talking with their friends, not to mention pornography and sexting (texting nudity and sexual talk).

Obviously I am not saying that letting your kid play on your iphone, watch youtube, play computer games etc, is going to lead to these things. We just did a few long car rides with the kids, and believe me...

Ryan and I were begging for an Ipad with some cool kid-apps.

As I stated in Part 1, there must be a balance.

What I am saying is that my status-quo isn't good enough here.

I need to Parent Deliberately *.

Ryan and I need to be pro-active in regard to how we use technology around our kids and in our family. I want to teach Josiah and Kaila to first love God, then family, people around us, nature, and so many other things, before I teach them to love technology and distraction.

* "Be alert and of sober mind, your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

Child Labor Laws

Ryan and I have always scoffed at child labor laws. I mean, who needs a dishwasher if you just have a couple of kids? I know that's what my mom and dad thought. They didn't buy the dishwasher until my sisters and I moved out of the house. We're startin' early in the Hayes household. I'm hoping to be "chore-free by three."

(I know, I know what you're thinking...those shirts aren't folded along the creases correctly! Cut the guy some slack, we're not slave driver's around here you know! He'll get there eventually...)

(He still gets sidetracked sometimes, it's a learning process)

After a hard day's work I let him pick the arrugla from the garden and eat it raw. ; ) He loves it.

Team in Training

(In case you accuse me of having miserable children, here's Kaila-Marie laughing hysterically!)