Addicted and Convicted: Part 2

Hypocrisy is a brutal motivator. It began when I saw a mother pick up her junior high schooler from school. The unnamed student plopped himself down in the front seat of the otherwise empty car, immediately put in his Ipod ear buds in, and began texting, staring at his phone as they drove away in apparent silence. The mother was his taxi, and he was her mute, distant passenger. That image was instantly burned into my mind, representing the potential (NOTE: not inherent nor absolute, just potential) evils of technology. The devices that allow us to be constantly connected, can tear us away from honestly connecting with the people and moments we are experiencing in the here and now. And worst of all, the rift was being created between parent and child. "I cannot let that happen in my family!"...I thought.

And then I began to see this...

(ok so it's a little staged, but you get the point, and Josiah really does love youtube!)

It begins. Ryan and I are teaching our children what to love (credit to Hannah for phrasing it that way, thanks Hannah!). My love for distraction creates a rift between me and God. My example teaches Josiah and Kaila learn to love distraction. Someday, my teenage children will love the distractions that create a rift between us. BAM.

Hypocrite.

When I pick up the phone every moment of the day, Josiah sees that. In that moment, I am telling him that the phone is more important than whatever is going on right then. Add up all the phone calls, texts, emails, etc. throughout the day, and I have taught him a lot about what is important to me. He reaches for my phone when it's on the table, "Mommy loves it, so do I." Does he even know to reach for my bible?

I began talking to my mom about this and she had a sobering point. In her line of work (she's a Marriage and Family Therapist) she sees a high volume of teenage boys addicted to gaming, girls addicted to texting and always talking with their friends, not to mention pornography and sexting (texting nudity and sexual talk).

Obviously I am not saying that letting your kid play on your iphone, watch youtube, play computer games etc, is going to lead to these things. We just did a few long car rides with the kids, and believe me...

Ryan and I were begging for an Ipad with some cool kid-apps.

As I stated in Part 1, there must be a balance.

What I am saying is that my status-quo isn't good enough here.

I need to Parent Deliberately *.

Ryan and I need to be pro-active in regard to how we use technology around our kids and in our family. I want to teach Josiah and Kaila to first love God, then family, people around us, nature, and so many other things, before I teach them to love technology and distraction.

* "Be alert and of sober mind, your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

Child Labor Laws

Ryan and I have always scoffed at child labor laws. I mean, who needs a dishwasher if you just have a couple of kids? I know that's what my mom and dad thought. They didn't buy the dishwasher until my sisters and I moved out of the house. We're startin' early in the Hayes household. I'm hoping to be "chore-free by three."

(I know, I know what you're thinking...those shirts aren't folded along the creases correctly! Cut the guy some slack, we're not slave driver's around here you know! He'll get there eventually...)

(He still gets sidetracked sometimes, it's a learning process)

After a hard day's work I let him pick the arrugla from the garden and eat it raw. ; ) He loves it.

Team in Training

(In case you accuse me of having miserable children, here's Kaila-Marie laughing hysterically!)

Surgery Update

Thank you so much for all your prayers and support. The surgery went well. Josiah was a brave little trooper. He woke up after surgery and just wanted to eat, drink and be held (who doesn't!?). He ate for about two hours straight after the surgery. He didn't have any nausea but was pretty out of it for the rest of the day. The next day, thursday, he was walking and getting into trouble, and today, barely three days out, he is pretty much completely back to his normal self. Ryan and I are doing all we can to keep things...mellow. Ha, yeah right.

Before surgery in the hospital.

Wednesday evening after the surgery. Eating again and pretty dazed and confused, decidedly under the influence. Still recovering from the surgery.

Ryan took Thursday and Friday off and we went to the Atascadero Zoo on Friday. Perfect parent ploy for keeping Josiah entertained and in the stroller.

Addicted and Convicted: Part 1

So, the blog may be an ironic place to talk about my addiction, but hopefully it will also serve to remind me of my conviction when I need reminding. It began with Ryan, offhandedly complaining about how much I text. "You're always texting!" "What can you be talking about?" Then the fatigue set in. You may be familiar with it. It's that feeling that you are always going, going, going...even when you have had a 'relaxing' day at home. It's that part of you that won't shut off. It looks like this.

I try to sit down and read my bible or journal first thing in the morning, and my fingers are itching to text someone, check email/blog/facebook/NYTimes/pinterest/ (name your vice), or look something up online. I'm out working in the garden and I always bring the phone so I can answer the phone or hear a text come in. I'm driving and willing to risk the $300 ticket and my kid's safety for a quick call. I have a few minutes downtime I just have to send out a quick text or check my email, again. I'm typing this very sentence and breastfeeding at the same time.

Yep, it's no wonder I feel mentally scattered at the end of the day and can't sit still with the Lord. I'm addicted to technology, distractions.

I'm addicted to things that keep me from fully enjoying the place and moment that I am in, right here and now. (pause in typing as I finish breastfeeding and love on Kaila, I'm working on it!)

Now don't get me wrong. It's not all bad. After all, if I didn't use my cell phone/text/email etc. there are some days when I wouldn't speak to another adult all day long. I would be talking Ryan's ear off for hours about baby poop, nap time and new babble sounds, "Hey! Why aren't you still listening..."

We could start World War III out there, or aliens could attack Los Angeles, and if I didn't use the internet I would have no idea. (Picture me in my baby bubble saying, "That's a cat. The cat say's 'meow...'" "B-I-R-D...say B-I-R-D..." "No, that's yucky...we don't eat rocks!" "Eeeeew, poopy diaper!" all day while the world is blowing up outside.)

I have to maintain my adult brain somehow.

I also treasure the friendships that grow by connecting via technology. Those texts and phone calls often are my lifelines of support from my good friends and family whom I love so much!

There must be a balance.

That said, I felt the Lord calling me. He gave me this verse (ironically through Linda's Blog).

"My dove in the clefts of the rocks, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely." Song of Songs 2:14 He was calling me to sit quietly with Him without distraction (kiddos don't count). To unplug and yearn to communicate with Him above anyone else. I was reminded of how sweet and lovely my Lord is. He was telling me He wants to hear my voice, to hear me pray and give me peace. He gave me;

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7.

And so I have begun to unplug. I will leave my phone behind when I go for a run. I will not take it with me every time I work outside. I will not even look at my buzzing text message when I am in the middle of kissing my babies, and I may not respond right away. I will close my computer for large chunks of the day.

Hopefully I will be more present and aware of the life and beauty that is right in front of me when I'm not letting my technology addiction distract me.

I'm addicted and convicted.

Surgery Date

Thank you so much to everyone who has been praying for us! The appointment with the doctor went well. We were assured that Josiah's surgery was "a bread and butter" surgery, very common. They do it all the time with less than 1% risk. The surgery date is Wed, Feb 1st at 8:30 am in Santa Barbara. There are so many things to be thankful for and to attribute to all of your prayers. Then, as we were putting the kids in the car to leave the doctor's office, God gave us a beautiful rainbow across the sky. It was like a visual representation of all your prayers to me, and a reminder of God's promise. It reminded us yet again that He is taking care of our family and that He cares about each and every detail in our lives.

If you happen to think about it, we would love to know that people are praying for Josiah during the surgery, or during the day on Wednesday. He will be under anesthesia from 8:30-10:30, and I will update this as soon as possible afterwards. Thanks!

Rainy Morning Love

I've decided that my favorite time of the day is first thing in the morning. I get to sit in the sunroom with a cup of coffee, snuggle with my babies, and sit and read while they just hang out and play. This Monday morning was extra cozy. With the fireplace going in the living room, we snuggled up with our beverages of choice (coffee, bottle, boobyjuice) and enjoyed watching the rain. Great way to start the day before heading to Santa Barbara around noon.

This post is especially for Ryan, who is at work right now and is an amazing dad.

Hernia

Last Tuesday was one of our top two most horrible days of parenting so far. (The first one was when we took Kaila Marie to the Emergency Room for a 102 fever. The pediatrician told us to go. Turned out to be nothing really, just a virus or something. That was about a month ago. Suffice to say, it was a horrible half a day.) Our second most horrible day of parenting, was last Tuesday when Josiah had a hernia. I could see it popping out. He couldn't walk or eat. He just lay there crying, screaming in pain, and looking up at me. Like I said, it was terrible. Ryan met me at the hospital and we were trying not to let Josiah see us cry as we held him and tried to just be there for him (seeing us cry made him more upset). That brings me to the blog. Tomorrow, Monday the 23rd we have consult with a pediatric surgeon in Santa Barbara at 3:00. Since most of you following us on the blog know and love us, we would like to ask you to pray for a few things.

Please Pray

1. That the appointment tomorrow goes well and that we are able to have the surgery soon, hopefully this week or next.

2. That the hernia does not re-occur before the surgery.

3. For his cold/cough to go away. It kicked in (Kalia and I have it too) about two days ago and, as you can imagine, it adds a few complications to all this.

4. For peace and rest in our home and family. We have had alot going on lately.

Ryan and I would like to invite you to pray this verse whenever you think about praying for our family, as we will be praying it throughout this process and especially during the surgery.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

Lest it sound like I am despairing, I have to add that a lot of good is happening too. As of now, Josiah is back to his normal, impossible-to-keep-still self. Ryan and I have been reminded how much we really do love our little man running around tearing the house apart. We are growing stronger as a family and as a couple. My final praise is that the Lord has been drawing me close to Him during this time. I have been filling my mind with business lately, and the beauty of really re-connecting with Him is beyond words.