Addicted and Convicted: Part 1

So, the blog may be an ironic place to talk about my addiction, but hopefully it will also serve to remind me of my conviction when I need reminding. It began with Ryan, offhandedly complaining about how much I text. "You're always texting!" "What can you be talking about?" Then the fatigue set in. You may be familiar with it. It's that feeling that you are always going, going, going...even when you have had a 'relaxing' day at home. It's that part of you that won't shut off. It looks like this.

I try to sit down and read my bible or journal first thing in the morning, and my fingers are itching to text someone, check email/blog/facebook/NYTimes/pinterest/ (name your vice), or look something up online. I'm out working in the garden and I always bring the phone so I can answer the phone or hear a text come in. I'm driving and willing to risk the $300 ticket and my kid's safety for a quick call. I have a few minutes downtime I just have to send out a quick text or check my email, again. I'm typing this very sentence and breastfeeding at the same time.

Yep, it's no wonder I feel mentally scattered at the end of the day and can't sit still with the Lord. I'm addicted to technology, distractions.

I'm addicted to things that keep me from fully enjoying the place and moment that I am in, right here and now. (pause in typing as I finish breastfeeding and love on Kaila, I'm working on it!)

Now don't get me wrong. It's not all bad. After all, if I didn't use my cell phone/text/email etc. there are some days when I wouldn't speak to another adult all day long. I would be talking Ryan's ear off for hours about baby poop, nap time and new babble sounds, "Hey! Why aren't you still listening..."

We could start World War III out there, or aliens could attack Los Angeles, and if I didn't use the internet I would have no idea. (Picture me in my baby bubble saying, "That's a cat. The cat say's 'meow...'" "B-I-R-D...say B-I-R-D..." "No, that's yucky...we don't eat rocks!" "Eeeeew, poopy diaper!" all day while the world is blowing up outside.)

I have to maintain my adult brain somehow.

I also treasure the friendships that grow by connecting via technology. Those texts and phone calls often are my lifelines of support from my good friends and family whom I love so much!

There must be a balance.

That said, I felt the Lord calling me. He gave me this verse (ironically through Linda's Blog).

"My dove in the clefts of the rocks, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely." Song of Songs 2:14 He was calling me to sit quietly with Him without distraction (kiddos don't count). To unplug and yearn to communicate with Him above anyone else. I was reminded of how sweet and lovely my Lord is. He was telling me He wants to hear my voice, to hear me pray and give me peace. He gave me;

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7.

And so I have begun to unplug. I will leave my phone behind when I go for a run. I will not take it with me every time I work outside. I will not even look at my buzzing text message when I am in the middle of kissing my babies, and I may not respond right away. I will close my computer for large chunks of the day.

Hopefully I will be more present and aware of the life and beauty that is right in front of me when I'm not letting my technology addiction distract me.

I'm addicted and convicted.

Surgery Date

Thank you so much to everyone who has been praying for us! The appointment with the doctor went well. We were assured that Josiah's surgery was "a bread and butter" surgery, very common. They do it all the time with less than 1% risk. The surgery date is Wed, Feb 1st at 8:30 am in Santa Barbara. There are so many things to be thankful for and to attribute to all of your prayers. Then, as we were putting the kids in the car to leave the doctor's office, God gave us a beautiful rainbow across the sky. It was like a visual representation of all your prayers to me, and a reminder of God's promise. It reminded us yet again that He is taking care of our family and that He cares about each and every detail in our lives.

If you happen to think about it, we would love to know that people are praying for Josiah during the surgery, or during the day on Wednesday. He will be under anesthesia from 8:30-10:30, and I will update this as soon as possible afterwards. Thanks!

Rainy Morning Love

I've decided that my favorite time of the day is first thing in the morning. I get to sit in the sunroom with a cup of coffee, snuggle with my babies, and sit and read while they just hang out and play. This Monday morning was extra cozy. With the fireplace going in the living room, we snuggled up with our beverages of choice (coffee, bottle, boobyjuice) and enjoyed watching the rain. Great way to start the day before heading to Santa Barbara around noon.

This post is especially for Ryan, who is at work right now and is an amazing dad.

Hernia

Last Tuesday was one of our top two most horrible days of parenting so far. (The first one was when we took Kaila Marie to the Emergency Room for a 102 fever. The pediatrician told us to go. Turned out to be nothing really, just a virus or something. That was about a month ago. Suffice to say, it was a horrible half a day.) Our second most horrible day of parenting, was last Tuesday when Josiah had a hernia. I could see it popping out. He couldn't walk or eat. He just lay there crying, screaming in pain, and looking up at me. Like I said, it was terrible. Ryan met me at the hospital and we were trying not to let Josiah see us cry as we held him and tried to just be there for him (seeing us cry made him more upset). That brings me to the blog. Tomorrow, Monday the 23rd we have consult with a pediatric surgeon in Santa Barbara at 3:00. Since most of you following us on the blog know and love us, we would like to ask you to pray for a few things.

Please Pray

1. That the appointment tomorrow goes well and that we are able to have the surgery soon, hopefully this week or next.

2. That the hernia does not re-occur before the surgery.

3. For his cold/cough to go away. It kicked in (Kalia and I have it too) about two days ago and, as you can imagine, it adds a few complications to all this.

4. For peace and rest in our home and family. We have had alot going on lately.

Ryan and I would like to invite you to pray this verse whenever you think about praying for our family, as we will be praying it throughout this process and especially during the surgery.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

Lest it sound like I am despairing, I have to add that a lot of good is happening too. As of now, Josiah is back to his normal, impossible-to-keep-still self. Ryan and I have been reminded how much we really do love our little man running around tearing the house apart. We are growing stronger as a family and as a couple. My final praise is that the Lord has been drawing me close to Him during this time. I have been filling my mind with business lately, and the beauty of really re-connecting with Him is beyond words.

The Parent Eye

Every day Kaila-Marie and Josiah grow up just a little bit more. The last few weeks have seen simutanous changes. Josiah is starting to really copy sounds. It actually sounds like he is saying the word half the time, but he is just copying the sound. He is also learning to eat off a spoon and loves climbing things. Kaila-Marie is such a little snuggle-bug. She rarely cries, but when she does she usually just wants to be held. She has begun batting at objects and smiling. It is such a joy to see her little face light up when she sees us.

The past two weeks I have been trying to capture her cuteness on camera. Trying to narrow it down to just a few pictures to put on the blog is pretty much impossible due to a condition I will refer to as, the "parent eye." That's right, Ryan and I will look at 50 nearly identical pictures of our kids and think each one is so cute. Under each photo I will put what goes through my head as I decided it just couldn't be cut out.

The Inner Monologue of the Parent Eye

"Classic Kaila look."

"Look at the little eyebrow and mouth! She's in the middle of a great thought. She looks alot like Josiah when he was a baby in this picture."

"This shot just makes me want to kiss those little cheeks."

"A little shy smile, she looks so sweet and feminine."

"This is her little observant look."

"I love it when my kids look overjoyed."

"Awwww, her eyes look so sweet and big. These are the best shots, she has such cute looks in this series. Cute finger in the mouth."

"awwww, finger out of the mouth."

"Closed lip smile. Can't leave this one out."

"And the reason she looks the cutest in these pictures, she's being held by her (sick with the flu) daddy. Our little snuggle bug is so happy being held."

Josiah eating with a spoon, can't leave his accomplishments out!

Mommy, if this were a democracy, things would be very different right now.

Second Christmas

A few pics from our second Christmas with Mom and Dad Hayes (Thanks for the request Aunt Karen! : ). The house was still decorated and I cooked up some great food. That, combined with having our loved ones with us made it just as authentic as Christmas on Dec 25th.

Mom and Dad assembled the exciting new slide in secret the night before and had it out to surprise us "Christmas" morning! It has been such a hit, it still stands in the exact same spot in our living room!

Just getting back from a walk around the neighborhood. What a beautiful group!

The whole family went to the neighborhood block party during the day on New Years Eve.

We're still working on the "smile" command with Kaila. She can do "look cute," "cry," and "lay there kicking" pretty well, so I'm sure its only a matter of time.